[ Oh, this question hurts. It hurts because it hadn't even dawned on him that if he doesn't play this right, he could lose Harrington completely. He doesn't know if he could stand a life without Steve in it at all, even if he couldn't be with him the way he wishes he could. ]

Of course he's my friend. I...I won't pretend I'm not crazy about him, in a way that's probably insane, but I don't think I could stand not having him in my life at all.